Wish You Gone

Frankly speaking, I hate all Malaysian drivers, be it cars or bikes. You drive slow on the fast lane when people are in a rush. You turn without signals. You cut queues at the toll. You can't bloody stay in line and cause more traffic. You just gotta zigzag scaring the shit out of others. You just gotta stick close to the front drivers to tell them to get lost. You just gotta turn on high lights to irritate the drivers in front at night. You just gotta driver faster when you see others signalling to turn to avoid slowing down. You just gotta forget the bloody laws when driving. You just gotta go even more slower taking your own sweet time at the slow lane (going below 40 KMPH is over the board). You just gotta stay in the middle of two lane. Bottom word, you like to bloody endanger other peoples life. If you want to kill yourself, there are tons of way. There are practically more than 101 way to kill yourself without having to endanger others on the road. So fuck off.

Getting stuck in a traffic for an entire hour just from Kepong (Desa Parkcity area onwards) to SS2, getting into a fucked up accident at Bulatan Rothman in SS2 thanks to another dumb driver (well I'm not hurt cuz if I am, I wouldn't be blogging this), end of class, coming back home, another dumb bitch just gotta make me ALMOST get into another accident. What the hell?

Coming to class, nobody to show up, no information given, no questions asked. Class delayed like hell. Nothing being taught in class. Time being wasted. What the hell?

I'm having such a bad time and end of this month surely prove to be a real messed up time for me. Well, doesn't matter. Things just gotta get more 'lovely' with all the uncooperative people around. Lovely, isn't? I should have been a selfish bitch at the start and why should I even give compassion towards those that does not think for me at all? I'm all talk about being a bitch but never acting like one, I guess I should be a total bitch and I seriously do, wish you will get fucked up and gone in the end. Don't rely on me anymore and fuck you all Malaysia drivers, including myself at times. The least I do is signal, bitch.

Rewrite

Yeah, you’d probably this of Asian KungFu Generation (Ajikan) song Riraito [リライト]. No, it’s not. Ugh, I don’t even know how to properly put this in words. It’s a massive jumble of different feelings into a small matchbox. Because of one simple incident, because of the high expectations, I felt like it was crushing me up until now.

I’m not trying to blame anyone. I’m trying hard not to. I just can’t help it. When one is not cooperative, I start to blame like hell. When one starts to escape the work, I blame like hell. Yeah, I study management but my management is hellish. What the heck, it’s just one of my presentation but everything just screws up and when the lecturer told us to redo it, I’m totally crushed. Wait, not even there, the beginning of the presentation, I’m already crushed. I wanted to hide in a corner and nobody finds me or dig myself a hole and jump into it that moment. Everything is just wrong. It’s already been 4 days after that incident, yet I still feel the pressure of it. Another chance was given to present again on Monday and seriously, I’m hoping that if the word redo it comes out again, I’ll just have a heart attack or whatever attacks and die on the spot. Let them suffer the guilt. I couldn’t be bothered with people who does not know what they want and people who does not know how to do their shits properly.

See, I’m off blaming people again when I myself can’t lead properly. What is so hard with doing a presentation in front of people you’ve already known quite well? I’ve no freaking idea. No, I don’t have the confidence at times that I do well, but I just had the confidence to talk my way out. Smile and if I don’t know, tell them I’ll get it to them later. The least is I admit or shit, do your research more importantly before you freaking present.

Crap, that song did indeed play itself when I’m writing this. Guess I should rename the title. English version though.

Jolly Jolly Day

I’ve never been this happy before in my entire life. Those that knows me back in my high school or even primary or even the kindergarten, they can be a witness that during those entire years of mine, I’ve never scored well or even done anything well for any academic related stuff… when I said never, I mean NEVER.

YES, MS KRISTY HAS NEVER DONE

WELL ACADEMICALLY BEFORE.

How surprised can one get ? I love surprises. But back to the original topic I was going to tell… It was just yesterday, 25/8/2010 during class break in college, I went to collect my result after one of the mates telling us that we can get our result already. Needless to say, I was pretty freaked out and nervous bout it since I know that there is one or two subject that I’d probably do pretty badly. But when I was shown to my results….

I GOT ALL As for my 5 freaking subjects !!!!!

I’VE GOT PROVE FOR IT AND IT HAS MY NAME

AND MY ID NUMBER WRITTEN ON IT SO IT’S MINE !!

AND I DID NOT FREAKING CHEAT !!!

I can’t stop jumping around and I immediately spread the news by sending out mass sms to all my friends. Best of all, when having lunch with Adrian, poor guy was terribly irritated by my non stop poking his arm and keep going like omg omg omg in front of him. But seriously… I can’t believe this even after a freaking day !!!

New Semester !

Well, class has started and I'm on my second semester ! Congratulations to me! Whoopee!! I know it sounds crazy and you'll be like, hey, it's just your second sem, so why make a big fuss out of it ? Well, most didn't know that I never did finish my studies when I was in HELP college. I dropped out and I became a failure in life. Seems like things are taking a good turn for me in every single aspect. Family, relationship, studies and of course, no career.

I got what I wanted, I did what I wanted and I know I'm totally blessed with everything around me and I'm not boasting about it. Making it into the second semester for my studies is like taking a big leap in life. Just like my relationship. To be in the second year of my relationship with boyfriend, seriously I couldn't stop being amazed and cherishing every moment of it. My past relationships never lasts even more than a year ! The longest being, 10 months? My studies are just like that. Never even finish the first semester, never even sat for the exams and I left just like that.

What a stupid person. But then again, everyone has their time when they were naive, stupid and idiotic. I think mine has passed. Well, this song definitely inspired me even further :D



Hats off to you my man.

I'm not afraid to take a stand
Everybody come take my hand
We'll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just let you know that, you're not alone
Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road

Yeah, It's been a ride...
I guess I had to go to that place to get to this one
Now some of you might still be in that place
If you're trying to get out, just follow me
I'll get you there

Short Story of IT

It’s funny when I realized that whatever I left behind long time ago grows into a beautiful thing in the end when I’m not looking. Is this what they call, appreciate whatever it is that’s in front of you now and not take it for granted? But, why is it that if it was something that I paid full attention to, regardless how I struggled to, it wills never blooms? I know I’m not supposed to look into the chest that I’ve locked away with the old mementos, but once a while, when I took a peek in the chest, I couldn’t help but feel a sharp tugging feeling.

At times like these, one couldn’t help but feel confused over the time as obstacles were blocking the path. Whenever the road with two path comes along, one would always stood there and ponder, which is the right one to take? One knows that never regrets whatever decision it has chosen after but, soon enough, when trouble arises, regrets cloud its mind. Well, obviously it knows that there won’t be a right or wrong path to take as both will be filled with thorns and rocky paths, but, everyone would be glad to have a smooth road once in a while, right?

One would know too that, as it goes along that path, friends would come and go. But it hadn’t realized that it was being used as well, in a painful way. Truly it can’t be that blind, can it? Being lied to for years, words as sweet as honey were poured and words as bitter as drugs were exchanged. It will definitely be painful when it awakens from the fact that it was not loved at all, it was despised and used all the time as a toy. Poor, poor thing, what more could go wrong? It was definitely stupid enough to believe and listens to them.

True or Not ?

I cracked when I see that even now our banks are giving a legal license to the debt collection company to "kill" in their own way. We all know fairly well that we've always placed the cops in our country under the category of 'LEGAL' ABUSER or something like that. Now, even banks ?

I just read the papers online and yeah, I feel sorry for the woman who lost her husband who died from heart attack, thanks to the debt collection company sending him 120 SMSes in a day asking him to pay up RM7,000 due to a credit card debt. What fuckery is this ? I mean hey, sometimes people just need time to pay their debts, you know? If no rooms are allowed to talk things out before actions, all hell break loose right ? Some conversation comes into my mind when I read the news and it's something like this ...

Debt Collector : Pay up or I'll bombard you with 120 SMSes a day till you freak out or die !
Man : No wait, let me explain first !! Have mercy !!
Debt Collector : Mercy ?! Who gives a crap about it ! I want money !
Man : Let me expla....
Debt Collector : No ! Be prepared to be bombarded by our SMSes !!

(Man's phone start to ring like mad, making man panic and killed him in the end)

Wife : YOU KILLED MY HUSBAND !!
Debt Collector : I didn't know he is this weak. Anyway, PAY UP!
Bank : Yes, please pay up or we will sue you.
Wife : But, YOU JUST KILLED MY HUSBAND !! (wails)

Technically, that's what that has been going through my brain after I read it. But hey, we will never know for sure if it's entirely the banks fault or not in this part. I just can't help thinking this way, I mean like, thanks to one of my class in college and the lecturer being so enthusiast in questioning the media, she got me started thinking too. It's like, everyone wants money, right ? So the paper sells something that the public wants. So, just how much story in it that is true ? Not just the paper of course, I'm talking news about anything that you find everywhere, written by anyone. Ever thought of it ?

I Lost It Already !

In terms of me going back to studies, scarifies must be made... Money.

It sucked big time when I've totally gotten used to the luxury of getting pampered, massage, good foods, good entertainment, always have time to socialize and I don't get worried of not having money because when I worked, I knew that I will eventually have money next month. Owing some bills for a month is not good but at least I can pay up on the minimum payment. Now, I can't even afford to do that anymore!

Just what have I gotten myself into? I became more seclusive, more angry, more easily irritated, and I keep brooding over how pathetic I've become ! Wow, talk bout in depression. More or less, I used to be the one that can be depended on and a quite independent woman because I got my great "Money" Armor. Now I feel like a defenseless one because I chose to throw it off ! Good grief...

So, you, you and you out there, don't come up and tell me that money ain't everything because... I want to eat ! How can you tell one that loves to eat not to eat just like how can you make a cow graze the grass if it doesn't want to? I don't care if you can diet or have the strongest will power to resist good foods. I don't need to because I have good metabolism rate and I digest foods fast enough and my body figure has been maintained at the same weight for years! (Well, I'm not that proud with it but it's all right)

Oh man, all my food adventures are gone and it was and still is my core of happiness... Working is a choice, but, I'm already feeling really lost with the assignments after years of not touching a darn study book and it takes a lot of my time to do even one stupid tutorial questions. Much less an assignment question !

As quoted by Uncle Leon, FML !!

You need to Learn Communication too !

I was totally speechless when I heard the news from the one in charge of the PTPTN in my college... My name wasn't in the acceptance list together with one of my mate. Needless to say, I was disappointed and angry after that. Walking out from the room, I tried to process what was being said by the woman.

"Your mate already knows that her name wasn't in the list as well together with yours and I already told her to see me on Monday." That's what she said. (The woman in charge of PTPTN in my college)

My anger bubbled to the point that I need to do hit something...REAL HARD... I did feel that I am ready to kill, literally...

That BITCH (my mate) NEVER freaking bothered to inform me about the results and that incompetent woman who was in charge of PTPTN, NEVER BOTHERED to even inform us STUDENTS WHO PAID FOR THE FEES TO STUDY IN THE POOR COLLEGE OF OUR LOAN RESULTS WHICH IN THE END WILL GO BACK INTO THEIR POCKET AS THEIR SALARY... It really pisses me off big time and two of my other mates were kind enough to give me words of support.

I knew that I was supposed to check on the web on 22nd April on our loan results but try as I may, I couldn't find the damn page that says LOAN RESULT or ANY DAMN SHIT LIKE THAT. So, I thought, why not go and check tomorrow before class? Being late which I admit was my fault but getting known of the details like TOO FREAKING LATE? FOR FUCK SAKES!! I've submitted all my details and DONE EVERYTHING AS INSTRUCTED BY THAT INCOMPETENT WOMAN 2 WEEKS BEFORE MY CLASS BEGINS!! She dare tells me that the PTPTN side didn't receive my application and for Christ sakes! I gave the damned documents to them for a fucking reason! NOT FOR THEIR FUCKING KEEPSAKES!! They should have submitted on our behalf or something if ANY FUCKING MISTAKES COMES UP! ISN'T THAT WHY PEOPLE HIRE YOU TO BE IN CHARGE OF THE DAMN THING?! Their inability to inform us students of anything in a proper manner really have me doubting their capabilities and I had half a mind to tell them to go and learn BASIC COMMUNICATION, GODDAMNIT... YOUR MESSAGE DID NOT MANAGE TO GET THROUGH TO YOUR RECEIVER AND YOU DID NOT BOTHER TO ENSURE THAT YOUR RECEIVER FULLY UNDERSTANDS IT.

Seriously, just because we are students and you think that you are in some office position in the college and you're like someone in charge big time there therefore you do not bother to inform ? What fuckery is this? Even a simple lecturer missing a class, another incompetent woman who was in charge of my course just went and INFORM DA BITCH face to face and KNOWING THAT DAMNEDGODFORSAKEN BITCH who has issues with me (presumably since she doesn't bother to talk to me and talks with sarcastic and miss know it all tones towards us) SHE DOES NOT BOTHER TO INFORM!

Imagine if my other mates forgot to inform me and I showed up to an empty class or finding out once I've reached the college. Wow, and yet the incompetent woman who was in charge of our course CLAIMS THAT ANYTHING IMPORTANT SHE WILL CALL OR EMAIL US. Oh wait, I guess that lecturer can't make it to a class is not important for the students so that the students can waste their time coming and going back after finding out there is no class or supports the student to waste the parents money by telling students to go play truant or whatever? I guess the only person that she will be bothered to call or email is the students parents if the students did not show up for class 3 times and ended up getting barred from exam. This is what they only knows how to do. So what about students like me, who PAY OFF EVERYTHING BY HERSELF AND IS THE ONE IN CHARGE OF HER OWN STUDY AND LIFE AND NOT THE PARENTS? IGNORED AND TAKE THE MONEY HAPPILY?

I just started off in a college, with high hopes of finishing my lousy diploma so I can get along with my life and this is what I get for picking a lousy college located in PJ states? You know, I will never be bothered to write this angry blog if things work out perfectly fine despites the incompetency of their organization. But my monetary supply gets cut off? This is a big mistake... Don't bother telling me to go ask for money from my parents or whatever. Have you no shame asking them for money when you are way over the age of asking and considering their age, you still want them to worry? Shameless and spoiled brat you are if you do so.

People out there, make sure you choose the right college to enter and check out their systems before you enter. Don't make your parents worry about you since they are the ones who pay for everything.