Rewrite

Yeah, you’d probably this of Asian KungFu Generation (Ajikan) song Riraito [リライト]. No, it’s not. Ugh, I don’t even know how to properly put this in words. It’s a massive jumble of different feelings into a small matchbox. Because of one simple incident, because of the high expectations, I felt like it was crushing me up until now.

I’m not trying to blame anyone. I’m trying hard not to. I just can’t help it. When one is not cooperative, I start to blame like hell. When one starts to escape the work, I blame like hell. Yeah, I study management but my management is hellish. What the heck, it’s just one of my presentation but everything just screws up and when the lecturer told us to redo it, I’m totally crushed. Wait, not even there, the beginning of the presentation, I’m already crushed. I wanted to hide in a corner and nobody finds me or dig myself a hole and jump into it that moment. Everything is just wrong. It’s already been 4 days after that incident, yet I still feel the pressure of it. Another chance was given to present again on Monday and seriously, I’m hoping that if the word redo it comes out again, I’ll just have a heart attack or whatever attacks and die on the spot. Let them suffer the guilt. I couldn’t be bothered with people who does not know what they want and people who does not know how to do their shits properly.

See, I’m off blaming people again when I myself can’t lead properly. What is so hard with doing a presentation in front of people you’ve already known quite well? I’ve no freaking idea. No, I don’t have the confidence at times that I do well, but I just had the confidence to talk my way out. Smile and if I don’t know, tell them I’ll get it to them later. The least is I admit or shit, do your research more importantly before you freaking present.

Crap, that song did indeed play itself when I’m writing this. Guess I should rename the title. English version though.