Ph-antasy or Dark Fantasies ?

This morning, if it wasn't for my blardy alarm clock, I wouldn't have woke up and I wouldn't ruin my dream. But somehow, I didn't know that dream gave me such a dreadful feeling till I am out from my safety cocoon. Yes, I know that people around me are strangers, but I've never gone to the extend to, fear them, especially men. It seems to me like, I hate mens. It's not like I hate my male friends or worse, my brother or my dad, not like that, but in general, I just don't really fancy them.

What about my dream that gets me going like this? I have no idea, but I'll just tell the story of my dream here, whatever that I can remember from it. It started off where I found myself shut off in this basement, four solid wall with a small window facing the moon (yeah surprisingly it was at night, I think) and nothing else there. I kept looking out at the window but in the dream, you know when it feels like, you're watching yourself in the dream, so the one who watches (for me) feels weird as there was nothing for me to see, but yet the one who looks outside in the dream, are so into the view that I just wouldn't move away from it. It was just a place with a white sand desert and black sky, with no stars except for the moon. That's the beginning of the dream and suddenly, it jumped to another scene where I was in a heated argument with someone. Who was it, I do not know, but I just know that the person is very important to me. But I don't even know who it is as I do not recognize feature about the person. I just know the feeling itself only. Stuff were thrown around everywhere and both of us had our hands and legs cut badly by the glasses on the floor. Next scene, the worse fantasy anyone can get. Growing a pair of wings has always been everyone's favorite fantasy, even mine. I did get one, but a black one in this dream. I was flying around, looking at scenes at first, till I came across a first murder. It was a gruesome one. Next scene was a row of people kneeled down, with their eyes blind folded and their hands tied behind them, getting shot to death. I just watched the whole thing, without any emotions felt at all. More and more gruesome and gut wrenching scenes rolled forward as I keep flying and yet, I still do not feel anything at all.

In the end, my alarm clock just woke me up. I knew I woke up sweating badly. Didn't know how bad it was till I just walk out from my house. Whatever it was, I just knew I had to smoke right away once I got out from the train in KLCC. Everyone freaks me out now, especially those I do not know...